Easy Meatloaf

   If you're looking to improve your current meatloaf recipe, or if you are just in the market for an inexpensive, easy dinner tonight, this is a recipe you'll want to keep handy.

Bbq Meatloaf with Seasoned Rice
Prep Time: 10 Minutes
Bake Time: 60 Minutes
Serves: 6-ish

INGREDIENTS
1lb Ground Hamburger
1 Package of Stuffing
1 egg
1 Cup Water
Barbeque Sauce

DIRECTIONS
Preheat oven to 375.  In a medium bowl, mix together all of the ingredients with 1/2 Cup Bbq sauce.  I use my hands, but you could use a wooden spoon.  If your kids like to help in the kitchen, this is the perfect dish to get their hands dirty!  Dump mixture into a greased baking pan/casserole dish and shape into a loaf.  Top the loaf with 1/2 cup Bbq sauce.  Bake for 50 minutes at 375 degrees.  After 50 minutes, top the loaf with more bbq sauce (about 1/4 Cup) and return to oven for another 10 minutes.

   I like to serve this with a side of rice and vegetables.  When the meatloaf has about 30 minutes left, bust out your rice cooker.  I like to add an extra 1/3 Cup water and include 1/4 bag of frozen veggies into the uncooked rice.  This is an easy alternative to preparing a 2nd side dish.  The other great thing about rice, is that you can make it as fancy as you'd like.  Our family likes seasoned rice.  Here's how I make it:

1 C Rice
2  and 1/3 Cup of Water
1/4 Bag of mixed frozen veggies
2tsp granulated chicken bullion
Melt 1T of butter over medium heat in a small skillet.  Take a handful of uncooked angel hair pasta and break it up into bits (about 1/2" long) and toast in melted butter until browned.  Dump entire contents of skillet into the rice cooker and cook.

   If you time it correctly, the rice and meatloaf will finish simultaneously and you can enjoy a hot dinner; perfect for these cold winter evenings!  My kids love this dish and it makes great leftovers.  John likes to crumble his meatloaf and eat it over his rice (like a rice bowl) and the consistency of the cooked loaf is perfect for toddlers to feed themselves.

   Let me know if it's a hit in your house too!  

Motherhood

    I was going to write about the stores from which we can't afford to not be shopping.  But, given recent events, I feel I should instead write about the responsibilities of motherhood.  I'm not talking about the changing of diapers, or the cooking, or the cleaning.  Those, while important, are acts that anyone is capable of performing for any child.  I'm talking about motherhood.

  Last night, after my boys were down, I crept downstairs to the kitchen.  I had a sweet tooth, and I wanted to settle into bed with Downton Abbey and relax.  As I retrieved some Mint Chocolate Chip from the freezer, raised voices from the other side of the wall made me freeze.  My neighbor could be heard, clear as day, yelling at her child.  Every other word was the F word, and the Lord's name in vain.  She was screaming at him; calling him lazy and stupid.  Apparently, he's having a hard time reading and so his teachers have sent him home with additional reading homework.  The mother was irate.  She was livid.  I heard dishes being banged about, I heard the child crying (not loudly, mind.  I never heard the child contradict or talk back to her).  Before retreating from the domestic horrors, I heard the mother say, "Now, your'e going to sit here" (scuffle) "and you're going to effing read this @#$# book to me!"

   In a better world, I would have had the courage to knock on the door and demand justice for the poor child.  But, I'm a coward.  I cried, put the ice cream back in the freezer and stewed about it in my room.  I debated as to whether or not I should call the cops.  I asked my sister what I should do.  We discussed calling the elementary school or CPS.  At the end of the day, I am who I am, and to my shame, I did nothing.  But, the incident has not left me.

   When first I moved in, this boy and his siblings were extremely disrespectful to not only me, but to others in the neighborhood.  I witnessed this boy trying to stone a kitten in my yard (which I stopped).  I've seen this boy fighting with others and getting his siblings into trouble.  I've also seen this boy around his mother.  I've seen how he grovels and hovers.  He acts as though he's stepping on egg shells, eager to please and always falling short.  Obscenities fly from his mouth because he hears them first from his mother.  He picks on those around him because he's known nothing else.  He's old enough now that his life will be forever tainted by the impact of his home life.  How tragic is that?  How common is that in today's world?

   I know it's old fashioned and considered politically incorrect to promote families and motherhood instead of woman's independence and career, but I think it's more important now than ever.  How different would this child's life be if his mother spoke with him in love and concern?  If she taught by example?  How different would this child interact with those around him, especially around those weaker than himself?  Some day, this child will grow up and be a man.  He may have children of his own.  He will most certainly have relationships of his own.  How will he treat those with whom he interacts?

   If you're a mother, you are doing the most important work in the world.  If you're a stay-at-home-mom, I wonder if you realize the rarity of your situation.  And, even if you are a stay-at-home mom, how much time is actively spent in rearing your children?  There are, of course, household duties which are included in your "job description" so to speak (i.e., cleaning, cooking, laundry, errands, etc.).  But, how is your time managed?  How many minutes a day do we spend reading to our children?  Playing with them?  Laughing, hugging and kissing them?  How many times a day do they hear the words, "I love you" being uttered sincerely from your lips?  Do they know why you love them?  Do they know how much they're worth, how much they add to your family, how grateful you are God has placed them in your home?

   I read a blog post from a mother in Utah this past summer.  She took her children to the community pool.  It was a busy morning.  Several mothers and children were there, and she let her 3 year old swim.  She became busy in taking pictures of her baby and was putting them on facebook when she looked up and saw her son flailing in the water.  He was drowning.  She had done what we are all guilty of doing at one time or another.  Not being present.  It's easy to say, "Yeah, I'm a great mom.  I was with my kids all day!"  But, what did you do with your kids?  How many minutes did you spent reading, or on your cell phone, or on your tablet/computer in their presence?  How many times a day do we lash out at them when they do something they shouldn't, but we were too busy socializing with our electronics to intervene?

   I am guilty of this, repeatedly.  After I read the post this summer, I vowed to only be on facebook/writing during the children's nap times.  Most days (like today) I'm very responsible and do very well at separating "Jane time" from "mom time".  Other days, I need a break and see my phone/kindle, etc. as a means to escape mentally while I'm still physically there for my children.  It's even harder when your husband is away on either deployment or training, and all responsibilities come down to you; when breaks are limited and everyone is vying for your attention.  Nevertheless, ask yourself at the end of every day, as you put your kids to bed, what kind of mother was I today?  What kind of mother do my children deserve?  How can I improve upon tomorrow from who I was today?

   Children inherently love their parents.  They can learn to not love, but it is unnatural.  I think a parent has to really work at ruining their relationship with their children.  Kids want to love their parents, they want to be friends, they want to be loved and respected.  Children forgive so readily and so easily.  Don't be hard on yourself if today you fell short of your expectations.  Tomorrow is a new day, and while your children are young, they will always embrace you with open arms.  It's vital to be who your kids need today, so they want to keep you in their lives when they're teens.

New Year, Old Practices

   Happy New Year (albeit a tad belated).  For or better or worse, I haven't actually made a New Year's resolution yet.  They never really pan out.  However, I think it's safe to say that there is one that everyone seems to embrace in those first few weeks of January: Be Healthier.  This generally consists of an extreme diet scheme and workouts which may or may not be effective.  Unless you're one of the rare, committed individuals, the new lifestyle fizzles by the end of February at the latest.  But it still doesn't change the fact that you want to be healthier, does it?
   I've recently discovered (by way of a childhood friend and my mother) two amazing beauty regimens that are unique, highly effective and cheap!

Beauty Regimen #1: Oil Pulling.  Sounds bizarre, right?  Well, it's incredible.  For detailed information regarding the technique and the science behind how it works and why it's effective, this is a great website to peruse.  In a nutshell, it improves gum and mouth health while whitening teeth, boosting energy and amping up the immune system.  Essentially, all you do is take 1 Tablespoon of oil (any cold pressed oil should do.  Personally, I use Safflower oil, although other recommended oils are Sunflower, Sesame and/or Coconut) and you swish it in your mouth for 20 minutes a day (take care to not spit the oil into the sink).

Don't put the oil away too fast!

Beauty Regimen #2: The Oil Cleansing Method.  Take 1 Tablespoon of Oil (I use Safflower, but they recommend Castor Oil/Olive oil) and after warming it in your hands, massage it into your entire face (yes, your face!) for 10 minutes.  Then take a hot, wet, washcloth and leave it on your face until it cools (repeat this 2nd step 3 times).  Then massage more oil into your face for another 10 minutes, then shower (if you shower in the evening.  If not, that's fine).  I know that it sounds counter intuitive to put oil onto your face, but it works wonders.  The first time I tried this, I was skeptical.  I had enormous zits along my hairline from talking on my cell phone.  Within the first 10 minutes, I felt the zits being cleaned out beneath my fingertips.  It was unreal!  Now, only a week later, my skin tone looks amazing and bright and flawless.  Best part?  A bottle of safflower oil can be purchased from any Grocery Store for cheap (mine was $4).

   I've tried both of these methods and have had nothing but positive results.  Morning breath?  Gone.  My gums look better, my mouth feels better.  My face looks spectacular, and I have every intention of making both a lifelong habit!  The best news?  You'll see results in just a few days!  Try it!  You won't be sorry!

Daddy Dolls

 
As many of you know, we had a Brother-In-Law just return from a deployment to Afghanistan (Oorah).  When he left, the Red Cross donated "Daddy Dolls" (though Operation Hug a Hero) to all of the children who had a parent going down range.  If you don't know what a Daddy Doll is, they're absolutely adorable!  They take a full length picture of your Solider and attach it to a pillow (essentially).  Her children looked so cute, walking around the house and falling asleep, all while clutching their daddy dolls.  At the time, we knew John would be leaving in a matter of weeks and so I decided to visit the website to order daddy dolls for Porter and Wyatt.   

The dolls, while absolutely adorable, are a bit pricey if you're like the average Military family and have more than one child.  a 12" daddy doll runs just under $24 while a 17" runs just under $30.  If you want a voice recorder sewn into the doll, that adds another $9.  Multiply that by 2+ kids and you're suddenly looking at a very expensive, albeit wonderful, coping mechanism.

As usual, I wanted the dolls, but I didn't want to spend $80 to supply my boys with a piece of their dad while he was away.  I got creative and decided to try making my own, and succeeded (for the most part).  You actually can benefit from my mistakes, so if you are interested in making your children their own daddy doll (or grandma/grandpa, auntie, etc. doll) then here's how I chose to do mine:

Materials Needed to Make 1 Daddy Doll:
* One, full-length photograph of your Soldier (in uniform, if desired) transferred to either a shirt, or some other material.
* One Voice Recorder (optional)
* Cotton stuffing or batting
* Needle and Thread
* Cammo Material (I wish I had thought to use an old uniform of John's before I did ours!)
* Iron-on Paper (also known as Transfer Paper - also optional)

Directions:
1)- Take a good picture.  All you have to do is visit the website to see examples of how they look.  In general, it's a good idea to have your Soldier stand with their hands loosely to the side, but really, I say do what comes naturally and what your kids will like :)  Take a picture with a white background if you don't want to cut around your Soldier's body.  John left before I could take a really good picture, so we used an old one.  It doesn't have to be perfect, your kids just need to recognize that it's daddy.

2)- Get a voice recorder device.  We had an old, nasty teddy bear which someone had just given us that we were going to throw away.  It had a recorder in the paw, so I dug it out and recycled it.  The other recorder, I obtained from Amazon.  (I prefer Amazon, but really, any online market place will give you a competitive price).  I ordered one for $6 (with shipping) and it arrived the week before John left, so I was cutting it a bit too close.  Still, I'm so glad we got a recorder for both boys!

3)- Upload your picture to Walmart.com > Photo Center > Clothing & Jewelry.  I chose to have the photograph put on an Adult T Shirt, just because I wanted a bigger doll... but it's only $11 and if you want to have it sent to your local Walmart store, you'll even save on shipping.  It takes a few weeks to have the shirt completed and shipped.

4)- Once you've got all needed materials assembled together, you'll want to do one of 2 things.  You can either cut the image from the background OR you can leave the image alone and simply cut the shape of the doll out of the T Shirt.
   I chose to cut out the background from John's photo, and then I used the rest of the T Shirt (obtained from Walmart.com photo center) to make the white part of the daddy doll, or the front of the doll.  I used the Iron-on (transfer) paper to make the picture stick to the T Shirt, then I simply cut out the shape of a doll and sewed it together.  If you want to skip the iron-on process, you don't need to cut out the background.  I chose to do this because the picture itself can be a bit scratchy.  Granted, I didn't try washing it first, either.  So, do whatever feels best and is easiest in your situation.  When I make these again, I'm going to skip the Iron-On Transfer because Porter loves his a little too much, too often, and the transfer paper has broken down, which means John is barely hanging onto Porter's doll.  So, again, do what you think is best for your kids.  Wyatt's is still as pristine as the day I finished it.

5)-  Cut the Cammo Material to match the shape of the doll.

6)- Pin the front of the doll to the back of the doll.  If you're unfamiliar with sewing pillows, you want the whole project to be inside-out.  This is will keep a nice, smooth edge on your finished product.  Sew the entire doll, except leave a hole that's big enough for the stuffing and the recorder.

7)-  Stuff the doll with the stuffing/batting all the way up until you reach Daddy's shoulders.  Then, insert the voice recorder (complete with personalized message from Daddy!!).  Finish stuffing.

8)- Sew stuffing hole closed.

9)- Present the doll to your beaming child, and share the pictures of your handiwork on our facebook page!

10)- Remind yourself that you're an awesome mother and a wonderful wife for keeping your children so connected with their daddy.

At the end of the day, my dolls aren't as pretty as the ones you can buy from the official Daddy Doll website.  The edges are a bit wobbly, the stuffing looks more like the cellulite in my legs, and we didn't get the best picture in the world.  BUT, my boys don't love their dolls any less because of that.  They sleep with them, they kiss them, they talk to them, and they carry them around all over, everywhere.  That's the whole point of the dolls anyway, right?  Don't stress about making them perfect.  All your kids will feel when they hold them, is that their mommy and daddy love them very much...

These are also a great gift idea (if you're needing an idea for a family member who is far away).  Really, these dolls are just great coping mechanisms for any loved one that is away from your child!!!

One Doing The Work of Two

I recently asked our fb readers if there was any particular topic they'd like explored or discussed on the blog.  I received a cute reply:

 "Single" parenting while they are gone...what do you do when all your kids can't seem to keep their hands off their siblings??? lol, this has been a week to remember!" 

In a phone conversation I had with John recently, I was expressing a similar frustration, and he said it so succinctly.  "You're one person doing a two person job."

Some days I can't get enough of my kids.  I just want to spend the whole day cuddling, kissing and playing.  Other days, I find myself watching the clock like a crazy person and fighting the urge to have a meltdown and throw a temper tantrum of my own.  On normal days, your Soldier can provide regular relief.  Even if that relief comes in the form of a 5 minute bereave in which you sit in your bedroom in peace.  Some nights, John didn't get home in time to see the kids before bedtime, but even then, he provided me with relief.  Adult conversation is vital to a mother's sanity; especially if that mother is a stay-at-home mom.  It's not just the conversation (although that's wonderful) it's the interaction, the intimacy, the entire experience of enjoying one another's company.  It's hard being away from your best friend for extended amounts of time, frequently.  

Everyone has emotional needs which need to be met.  Parents have to worry about the needs of their spouse, the needs of their children, and of course, their own.  When your husband is home, you can share the responsibility of your child's emotional needs.  Between the two of you, you can make sure everyone's emotional needs are being met in a proper and timely manner.  But when he's away for either training or deployment, the buck stops with mom.  The day in, day out, never ceasing, crushing, sometimes overwhelming, responsibilities of parenthood rest squarely on mom's shoulders.  Is it any wonder that some days, you feel like you're drowning in motherhood?

Firstly, if you're excessively worrying about the emotional needs of your solider, stop immediately!  There's really only so much you can do for him, after all.  Let's be clear.  I'm not suggesting you abandon him.  By all means, send him packages, talk to him as often as possible, confide and trust one another with your problems, talk about your days, etc.  But, your husband has an entire network of fellow Soldiers, a band of brothers, to share burdens, laughs, trials and life with while he's absent.  There needs to be a healthy balance, and your Solider shouldn't, in turn, abandon you emotionally, but that is for another day.

Secondly, revert back to advice you were given when your little ones were newborns.  Didn't everyone tell you that you couldn't take care of anything if you weren't first taking care of you?  This doesn't just apply to new moms, you know.  This applies to everyone.  We all know it.  That's why the Self Help section at Barnes & Noble is so large.  Diversity is a beautiful thing.  We all unwind differently.  What helps you to find your inner peace when the house and the kids are falling apart around you?  As for me, I have found the crib to be a mother's best friend.  If your kids are still young enough for a crib, don't feel guilty if you need to give yourself a timeout.  The crib is a great option because they can't get hurt, and your house won't get hurt either as you retreat to the tub or bedroom for a few minutes of stolen serenity.  If your kids are too old for a crib, try putting a movie on, or sending them outside to play while you watch them from the peace of your empty house, sipping on a hot chocolate or lemonade.  If none of these are viable options, or they're not working, then use my all-time favorite.  Early bed time.  I've found my kids are the most cranky when they're overtired.  How do I resolve this?  Early bed time.  Contrary to belief, sending them to bed early will not necessarily mean they wake up early the next day.  They're overtired for a reason.  They need to recover sleep, and I've never had this plan backfire on me yet.

Thirdly (and lastly) take care of your children's needs to the best of your ability.  Newsflash, some days your abilities are better than others.  Don't compare yourself to other moms, just concentrate on being the best you.  Porter acts out when he's overtired, yes, but also when he hasn't had enough attention.  Granted, he's 2, so his idea of attention and mine don't always coincide, but you can generally gauge how much is too much and what's not enough.  Even if you're cleaning your house on a daily basis (See To DITY or Not to DITY) there will be plenty of days where dishes cover the countertops, none of the beds are made, and toys litter the floor.  As tempting as it can be to leave the kids to their own devices so you can catch up on household duties, ignore the urge every now and again.  All of the chores will still be there (unfortunately) but your kids will only be little for so long.  Before too long, they'll be asking you for advice on how to deal with kids of their own.  Take the time to read to them, to dance and to go on walks.  It'll help with their cabin fever.  Finally, Talk about Daddy a lot.  Sometimes, I'll just google images of Soldiers and look at them with Porter.  It doesn't matter that he thinks everyone is Daddy. It's simply a daily reminder that he has a dad and that he loves him.

So that brings us to the final question.  What do you do when your kids won't get along?  I know how it feels to be the sole disciplinarian.  In a word?  It sucks.  By the end of the day, I'm so tired of hearing myself say "no" repeatedly.  I'm sick of chastising, correcting and playing judge.  I read in a parenting book, that you should actually stay out of your children's fights as much as possible.  You should teach them correct behaviors, but let them put them in practice.  Newsflash, they're not going to get it right 9 times out of 10, but you should still let them swim on their own.  Let them resolve situations alone.  Let them deal with the consequences of their resolutions.  Obviously, intervention is necessary eventually, but don't rush to resolve every fight every time.

So, the kids have been at it for a while, and there's now an escalation of violence.  What do you do?  This is my most favorite option. They call it "The Get Along Shirt"

(as a side note, I love how the boy is thrilled to be wearing it...)

The idea of the shirt is what makes it so genius.  In life, we're forced to make nice and get along.  This is about teaching them to suck it up, and be nice, even when it's not what they feel.  It's a tangible consequence you can enact when fighting erupts.  Growing up, my mom used to make us sing "Love At Home" from the LDS Hymnbook.  You can also take away privileges.  Be clear as to what is acceptable behavior and what is not.  You could even let the kids take part in choosing the consequences for misbehavior.  They have a tendency to choose harsher punishments than parents do, and when the time comes for them to be punished, they can't complain because they chose their own form of justice!

And then, of course, there's Time Out. This method has been used in practice for several hundred years.  In Medieval times, Society even instituted the Time Out as a reliable method of resolution.  

What I want do when my kids are acting out....

What I do until John builds me some Stocks....

Remember, if everything fails, early bed time it is!

Project Rudolph

   As we begin this Holiday Season, we should never forget that there are those who cannot come home to be with their loved ones.  It doesn't require much effort to get involved and send some Holiday Cheer to those we love on the front lines.  Even if you don't know anyone personally, they fight for you nonetheless.
   My cousin's wife and her students, do great work with Project Rudolph.  It's a wonderful program designed to show love and support for our Troops throughout the Holidays by providing deployed units with Holiday gift bags, in an attempt to provide them with some cheer, comfort, joy and love to sustain them as they leave their families and loved ones behind.
   Project Rudolph needs help not only in support and letter writing, but also in knowing who needs some holiday cheer.  I know the Holidays are a busy time for everyone, but please take a few minutes out of your day to look at this website explaining all about Project Rudolph and Operation Angel.  So many people say they support the Troops.  Now's your chance to actually do something about it this Holiday Season!

Life of Pi

   John says I have a nose for picking out books which are eventually made into movies.  And it's absolutely true.  Don't ask me how...because I honestly couldn't tell you.
  My apologies on this long overdue post.  Porter effectively broke my laptop and life has been busy as we prepare for the Holidays.  If you find you have a few minutes to spare, or perhaps to unwind at the end of the night, I would recommend: "Life of Pi" by Yann Martel.  This is a fantasy adventure novel, published in 2001.  It's not your typical fantasy however (there are no witches or magic).  I actually thought it was based upon real events when I first read it in 2008.
  This is a story of 16 year old Piscine Patil in which he's shipwrecked and stranded on a lifeboat with a bengal tiger for 227 days.  You may wonder how on earth an author could find enough material to write 400 pages worth of brilliant story line, but he does it and does it amazingly well.
  The book was recently made into a movie, and was released today, November 21, 2012.  I have yet to see the movie, but by all accounts, it looks like a fair presentation of what I fell in love with 4 years ago.  As always, this is a book about the human condition, and it is told beautifully and powerfully.  It resonates with the reader by invoking timeless questions and life lessons.  There's a truth to be found in its pages, and it is one which the reader won't help but admire.
  Do yourself a favor and read "Life of Pi".  It is one of my favorites!