YOU CANNOT ESCAPE YOUR FIGURE

   I'm the type of person who is never satisfied with "good enough".  I admit it freely.  I also admit freely that it is an enormous character flaw and one which I never seem to make any headway in rectifying.  If I received an A-, I only ever thought, "It's not as good as an A".  If I came in second in a competition, race or contest of any sort, my thought was always, "It's no first place" as I looked on with mixed emotions of jealousy, sorrow and anger at the winner.  I'm a perfectionist and I strive for perfection in everything.  It makes me a difficult person to get along with, let alone live with.

   It should come as absolutely no surprise then, that the same has always applied to my body.  I know that every woman has looked with longing at old photographs, wishing for their old figure (you know, the one you used to despise because it was "so fat").  I think that, likewise, a woman who has lost a lot of weight often looks at herself in the mirror and thinks, "I'm still not that skinny."

   Why are we like this?  Why is it that the amount of weight lost, while awesome, is never quite good enough?  I think there are two reasons.  The first being, our sex is one of endless comparisons.  We don't often compare our current body with the body we had two years ago, rather, we compare it with the women we see on TV, or the ones ahead of us in line at the doughnut shop who look as though they've never eaten so much as a grain of sugar in their life, let alone a doughnut!  And the second reason ties in with the first, it's because we don't realize that our figure is our figure.  Regardless of whether we gain or lose 50 pounds, our trouble areas will never not be our trouble areas.

   Case in point.  For the majority of my post-period life, I've nestled comfortably and uncomfortably on the scale between the low and high 150's (pant size 10 to 12).  When I married, I was recovering from an illness which brought me all the way down to the mid 130's and I was ecstatic.  But, even as my pants continually fell off my hips, I thought to myself: "You still have a few more pounds to go."  Then, my health returned and as the weight piled on quickly, I looked back at those wedding pictures with a sigh in my heart.  ("How could I think that I was fat then?!  NOW, I'm fat!!!")

   With the birth of baby Wyatt last March, I weighed 179 the day of delivery.  Almost an entire year later, I've lost nearly 60 pounds (fluctuating from the low to mid 120's).

That weight loss is due entirely to  breastfeeding, regular exercise, portion control (helped by a high dose anti-depressant which thoroughly kills my appetite) and finally by having John out of the house these last 7+ months for training.
   In my life, I've never even dreamed of weighing so little.  I never thought it humanly possible for me to be in the 120's.  I always thought that once I was in the 120's I would look as skinny as an actress.  Correction, I always thought I would feel as skinny as an actress.  But, the truth is:  NOBODY CAN ESCAPE THEIR FIGURE!

   I want you to say that out loud and let the eternal truth and reality of that statement sink into every fiber of your being.  YOU CANNOT ESCAPE YOUR FIGURE.  Period.  End of discussion.  While very skinny and parading about town in pants ranging in size from 2 to 4, I still feel as big as I did when I weighed 155.  I cannot escape my figure.  What is my figure?  I have been either blessed or cursed (depending on who you talk to) with the figure that gains weight all over, for the most part.  My trouble spots are my thighs, hips and butt.  They were my trouble spots when I was in the 150's and they've remained my trouble spots now in the 120's.  If you're like me, and you find yourself often wishing for a smaller number on that scale, repeat to yourself: "I cannot escape my figure".  If you're pear shaped, you'll always be pear shaped.  If you're shaped like an hourglass, you'll always be shaped like an hourglass.  If you're top heavy, you'll always be top heavy.  I honestly thought that if my scale ever read 122 while I was on it, I would magically have stick legs, a petite waist and small breasts.  Imagine my surprise when this wasn't the case.

   But, where does the wishing end?  I weighed in this morning at 126 pounds, and while I always thought I would be in heaven at 126 pounds, this morning, I found myself still cursing my muffin top (a constant reminder of the physical cost of motherhood).  Then, I went to Kohl's to take advantage of a coupon, and bought a new outfit (yes, it was from the clearance rack).  When I got home and took a couple of pictures to show John, I saw just how tiny I actually am.

   My hips are my hips are my hips.  They'll always be the widest part of me.  But, the problem doesn't lie with my hips, it lies with me.  As difficult as it is, we women must fall in love with the figures with which God blessed us.  It does us no good to pine for a smaller body, when in reality, a smaller body won't do one darn thing to make you feel better about your actual figure.

   Thomas S. Monson said (and I'm paraphrasing) "There's no such thing as an ideal pant size".  By all means, continue going to the gym, continue eating conscientiously and continue striving for your ideal weight, but you're fooling yourself (like I did) if you think it's going to magically change your figure or who you are.  At 126 pounds I feel the same inside as I did when I was 156.  My self-esteem may be a bit higher as I'm a little easier on society's eyes, but in every other way, I am the exact same person.

   Don't let what you want to look like, determine who you want to be or how you want to feel about yourself.  Until you're happy with the figure that you have, you'll never be content with the number on the scale or on your pants.  You simply won't.  Take my advice: work out hard at the gym, then come home and work out your self esteem too.  Take a moment to embrace those "trouble areas" and accept the fact that:  YOU CANNOT ESCAPE YOUR FIGURE.  And no, I'm not saying that like it's a bad thing!

Healthcare For Dummies

   Don't allow yourself to be confused or offended by the title of this post.  I am, in no way, implying that you're a dummy.  That being said, I think few Americans actually understand how Healthcare works, and therefore, few understand where the actual problems lie.  I'm not drawing this information from any talk show or radio network, but rather from my own experience from working in the healthcare industry.

   My last job before the one God gave me, was as a Chiropractic Assistant.  I remember sitting there that first week being trained by the girl I was replacing.  She kept talking about "auditing accounts" and I was so confused.  It wasn't until after she left and I was figuring things out on my own when I realized the truth:  

FACT:  A doctor doesn't collect the full amount billed to an Insurance Company.

   I always thought: "If my doctor bills the Insurance company $100 for my visit, and the Insurance pays 80%, they pay $80 and I pay the remaining $20."  Sounds logical, right?  How many of you understood it to work that way also?  Well, it's not the case.  When an Insurance says they'll pay 80%, it means they'll pay on the allowable amount.  You see, when a Dr. says: "I accept _____ Insurance" what he means is:  "I'm under contract with _______ Insurance company to accept their clients."  The Dr. and the Insurance company then come to an agreement as to what they'll pay/accept for various services.  So, if a Dr. bills $100 for an office visit, Insurance Company #1 says they'll pay no more than $50 for the office visit, Insurance Company #2 says they'll pay no more than $65 for the office visit, so on and so forth.  The Dr. can look at those reimbursement levels and has the option to say, "Insurance Company #1 doesn't pay me enough to keep me viable, therefore, if your Insurance Company is #1, I don't accept your Insurance."

   The Dr. I worked for received about $45 a visit from any given Insurance company (on average).  Did you know it is against the law to offer Cash patients a different price than patients with Insurance?  Isn't that messed up?  The man I worked for was of the very best caliber.  His way around this law?  He offered what he called "A same-day discount".  If you were going to pay for the visit at the time of service, your adjustment was a flat $35.  He offered Insurance Companies the same deal, but of course, they never paid on the same day of service.

MYTH:  "My doctor is rich and overpaid because he's corrupt and the Health Insurance Companies are corrupt." 

   Do you have any idea how much it costs to run a Business, let alone a Medical Practice?  Did you know that any employer must match your Taxes?  That's right.  That means the Government is double-dipping into your taxes!  If you earned $1000.00 in your last pay period, and the Government took  $400 of that, your employer also pays $400.  That means in a pay period the Government collected $800 on your behalf. I bet you didn't know that.  Think about how much it costs to run your household.  A place of business is very similar.  You have cleaning costs, utility bills, payroll, taxes, advertising, and student loans.  It's quite overwhelming when you conceive of the expense.

   I think the reason a lot of people carry an angst against Doctors is because they see them as opportunistic bad guys:  "I got sick, so I had to see a Doctor and it cost me $450.  He's capitalizing on my misfortune!"  It's easy to fall into this way of thinking, but it doesn't justify it.  Do you know how much time and schooling the Doctor took in order to help you in your moment of need?  Do you know much money he's paid to have the vital knowledge to return you to health?  I think it's safe to say that a majority of Doctors enter the field because they have altruistic personalities.  They want to help people.  End of story (i.e. "Do No Harm").  However, they also live in a very real world that has bills and overhead and student loans.  They have to collect enough money to pay off Student Loans and keep their business running and provide for their families in the meantime.

   I know what you're thinking, "But do they have to charge so much?!"  Sadly, the answer is yes.  And I'll tell you why.

   At the end of the day, a hospital is a business; it's a very large, very extensive and expensive Business.  It has all of the workings of a major hotel and a restaurant and a doctor's office.  It's a pricey place to be.  It always was and it always will be.  If you think of all of the aspects of your last hospital stay, you'll soon become overwhelmed.  The utilities alone of such an establishment must be hefty, not to mention staff, medicine, laundry, food, supplies, equipment, and the never ending taxes on all of those employees! etc.  It also has to help shoulder the cost of the pharmaceutical and research companies.  Do you know how much money it costs to develop these new breakthrough procedures and medication?  There is a cost of having access to the best healthcare in the world.  It doesn't just spring out of the ground in a spout of knowledge.  It takes testing, patience, facilities, know-how and lots and lots of money.   

   Like a business, a hospital is forced to balance its books or it becomes solvent and guess how many people a hospital could help when it can't function.  But, for better or for worse, this Business can "do no harm".  It cannot reserve the right to refuse service.  So, if you're a complete jerk, they still have to treat you.  If you are a drug addict who tried to kill yourself, they still have to treat you.  If you have absolutely no money to pay for your visit, they still have to treat you!  But, if there are people that aren't paying for their services, the hospital has to eat the cost.  What's that?  The Hospital pays for you to come and be treated if you can't pay.  It's inherently impossible for a hospital to continue to do this for any length of time without it affecting every other aspect of care.  This means the more a hospital pays for your care, the less staff it can hire, the less money it has for equipment, food, medicine and beds.  Eventually, they have to make money somehow.  The answer lies in Insurance Companies.

   An Insurance Company will always have more money than the average patient.  So, a hospital can get away with charging the Insurance Company enough to make their books balanced.  For example, let's say (for simplicity's sake) that it cost $1 million to completely run X Hospital for one year.  But, they were only able to collect half a million from all of the patients they treated.  How do they make up the other $500,000? They ask for charitable donations from their worthy sponsors and affluent members of Society, but that still leaves a $250,000 hole in their bank account.  Remember, if they don't fill this hole, they'll go out of business!  So, they say, "we have to spread this $250,000 cost to all of our paying patients."  So, that means what would have cost you $200 becomes a $2000 bill.  Do you understand, yet?

   Did you know that most movies in Hollywood cost upwards of $100 and $200 MILLION dollars?!  Yet, how much money did you pay for your last movie ticket.  $10?  How much were paying for a movie ticket a decade ago?  The price to make a movie is increasing (as is inflation) so the price you pay reflects that.  Imagine how much money your movie ticket would be though if the first 100 people in line didn't have to pay for their ticket.  Your $10 movie ticket would instantly skyrocket to what, $20?  $30?  $50?  And how much money do you think an actor makes for each movie they make?  How about TV Actors?  No one accuses an actor of being greedy and corrupt but they'll never hesitate to throw their Doctor under the bus.  What about your favorite Sporting event?  How much money would you pay for a ticket to the Super Bowl?  What if only half of the people had to pay for their ticket, how much would you pay then?  How much does each player make?  Does it affect the way they play or the way you see them?

   I'm sure that there are corrupt and overpriced doctors.  I'm sure that hospitals are mismanaged.  But, never forget that behind all of these practices, hospitals, multi-million dollar corporations, etc. there's just a bunch of people.  And guess what?  Nobody is perfect.  Not your doctor, not the Hospital Administrators, and not the CEO of Google.  

   So, if you didn't get the whole point of this long post, it's that the reason your healthcare is so expensive, is because the number of nonpaying patients outnumber the paying ones.  It's because the industry itself has had to inflate their costs in order to remain viable.  It's because too many people go to the Emergency Room when they should go to Urgent Care.  It's because too many people live unhealthy lifestyles and crowd the hospitals with the consequences of their bad decisions.  

   "But, Jane!  My cousin has cancer, how dare you imply that they're in the hospital because of a bad lifestyle choice!"  If that thought (or something like it) crossed your mind, then you were looking to be offended.  In no way did I imply that all people who are suffering from an illness  automatically contracted it due to lifestyle choices.  I merely meant that a lot of problems seen in hospitals are due to lifestyle choices individuals make.  Capisce?

   So, what is the solution?  It's not Universal Healthcare, because then, overnight, the patient load increases while everything else stays the same.  What I mean by that is: what deters you from going to the ER when you don't have insurance but you do have a stomach flu?  The answer almost invariably comes back: "Cost."  If that cost were removed, how many more people would visit the ER in any given day for common ailments?  If you go to your Grocery Store, and they're having "Customer Appreciation Day" complete with a free hot dog lunch, do you stop and enjoy a wiener?  What if they had a "Customer Appreciation Day" lunch but now the hot dogs were $1?  Would you still stop, or would you find yourself thinking, "Meh.  I'm not really that hungry..."  

   In Universal Healthcare, the costs to run these Hospitals (which, in case you forgot, are private Businesses)  are distributed to the entire population (by way of a large increase of taxes). We'll see rationing of care, medicine, facilities and coverage as well as Government involvement in the care you receive.  In addition, what happens to medical research?  We'll see a decrease in new, innovative surgeries and medicine.  How many aspiring doctors will see the restrictive limitations and the decrease in salary to pay back their staggering student loans and choose to pursue a more lucrative career?  And honestly, who could blame them?  Again, I know it's a knee-jerk reaction to blame the Doctors ("They're so greedy!")  But would you do it?  If you are going to accrue upwards of $150,000 of Student Debt, would you still do it if there was a possibility you couldn't pay it all back?

   It's unfair and unrealistic to expect Doctors to treat you for free.  Would you work for free?  Could you? Exactly...

Master Bedroom Getaway

   Whether you're the type that believes your master bedroom is a sanctuary that should be kid and toy free or if you like to have those little bodies snuggled up next to you on a Saturday morning to watch cartoons, your Master Bedroom is a central part of your home.  Important things happen in your Master Bedroom and it should reflect the couple that thrives in it.  If the Kitchen is the heart of the home, the Master Bedroom is the soul.
 
   Just because you're in the Military doesn't mean you can't create the atmosphere you so richly deserve.  A bed can make a statement without the heavy, hard-to-move headboard and you shouldn't settle for a bed setup that you aren't in love with!

   Before our last PCS move, we sold our bed and most of our furniture to save on truck space as well as make a little money.  When we arrived, we had to start all over again with much of our most basic needs (like a bed).  While it was a bit of a drag, it was also an opportunity.  We got a great deal on a King Mattress and Box Spring ($500 from American Freight).  At the next paycheck, we bought a basic metal bed frame ($60 from Costco.com) complete with an excellent mattress topper ($100 from Overstock) on the third paycheck.

   Being picky and with this gorgeous new bed, I didn't want to settle for the typical, hideous, tacky, bed-in-a-bag set.  I was ready for an adult's bed.  The budget wouldn't stretch to afford a homemade quilt for quite some time, so one day, when I was out at Costco, I saw a flannel sheet set (for only $29) that would be a beautiful bedspread.  It was for a Queen, so I had to cut up the fitted sheet, hem it, and attach it to the flat sheet, but it turned out better than I even imagined!

   The next step in the process was to think of some kind of headboard.  Knowing that another move was inevitable in a matter of months, and again, with no budget for a physical headboard, I took a curtain rod we had lying around and purchased a pair of black, sheer curtain panels from Big Lots ($10).  The effect is absolutely stunning and best yet, will be incredibly easy to take down and move!

   Lastly, I purchased two unfinished dressers from IKEA ($70 for the pair) stained them in our favorite color (Jacobean) and set them flanking the bed as nightstands.  They're perfect for catching clutter, books and holding lotion, wipes and diapers.  Best nightstands EVER!

   I wanted a punch of color so I took a leaf I found lying on the road on one of my walks, pressed it and framed it in an old, barnwood frame purchased from Hobby Lobby ($10 on sale).  I then took an old frame, painted it green and placed it around a picture I painted.

I also took a lamp shade I purchased from IKEA in their As-Is section ($6) and attached it to a basic floor lamp purchased from Walmart ($7).  I stenciled a fluer-de-lis pattern on it in a light gray and voila.  The result, is we have an amazing, comfortable, elegant-looking master bedroom which is a sanctuary any time of the day or night  It was inexpensive, has a decided stamp of "Smiths" and will be easy to move!

   If you're looking for a way to spruce up your Master Bedroom or if you're a newlywed couple looking for furniture, first things first, decide what you like, then get creative!  Go shopping in your home to see if there are any accessories that will better compliment your new retreat.  Stay within budget and spread the costs over several paychecks to avoid going into unnecessary debt.  DIY projects are always a great way to save money as well as maintain control over the end result.  There's no reason you can't enjoy a sanctuary of your own!

Stores I Love and Why You Should Too!

In Econ 1010, you learn that there's rarely ever a fixed price for anything.  Those who provide services or goods have a target price they'd like to receive for their goods as a whole rather than individually.  You don't see a Fortune 500 Company creating staff meetings about how much they want to make for each little product, rather they set a dollar amount for what they'd like to collect at the end of the fiscal year.
   If ever you've traveled on an airplane, and you ask those around you how much they paid for their tickets, you'll find that some paid their proverbial arms and legs, while others practically fly for free.  How is this?  Because at the end of the day, businessmen know that some profit is better than none at all, and they'll take the highest amount from whomever is willing to pay that price.  What this creates in the market place (or rather, should, if a free market is left to its own devices without government interference) is that you can shop around for the same product from several different merchants before acquiring the best deal.  Now that the econ lesson is over, here's my list of favorite stores, and why you should love them too!

COSTCO:  You may be thinking, "I'm not paying $55 to a store just so I can shop there!"  That kind of thinking is both absurd and asinine.  Costco will refund your membership fee at any time if you are unsatisfied.  Costco offers an amazing American Express card with 3% cash back on all purchases.  We shop using the card and then pay the bill off each month and then at the end of the year, we receive 3% back in the form of a check.  We always get more than enough to pay for the next year's membership and by being a member, you become privy to all sorts of amazing deals.  You might be thinking, "I don't own a business, what on earth would I do with that enormous can of black olives?"  Costco is more than a store full of oversized canned goods.  Costco carries different merchandise based on location, so each time you PCS, each store will carry its own unique perks.  Costco's brand (Kirkland) carries the best baby wipes on the planet (no, that's not my opinion, it's fact).  You can get a box of 900 wipes for $20.  Let me tell you something about these wipes.  I've been known to accidentally wash a wipe or two and they come out of the dryer strong as ever.  I've found myself holding it up thinking, "What is this washcloth?"  That's how strong and amazing they are.  In addition to wipes, Costco carries both Kirkland brand diapers and Huggies.  These big boxes of diapers are the same price ($39 a box) but they almost always have one brand on sale at any given time (for $32/box).  If you're pregnant or already have babies in the home, you'll want a Costco membership.  In addition, they have monthly coupons that are outrageous.  They have everything at Costco!  Furniture, amazing food at amazing prices (did I mention you can get a hot dog lunch with a drink for a buck fifty?!), pharmacy (which accepts Tricare ExpressScrips) as well as Gasoline that is always cheaper than market value.  "I don't need Costco gasoline, it's cheaper at the PX."  True, it usually is cheaper at the PX, but the Costco membership card travels with you.  If ever you need gas and there's not a PX around, Costco will still save you money.  And in case you already forgot, if you get an American Express Costco Card, you receive cash back on every purchase!! So, get a Costco membership already!!!

TARGET:  Walmart's better looking and nicer cousin, right?  "Duh, Jane.  Everyone already knows that!"  But did you know that Target offers a Debit card which gives you an automatic 5% off your total purchase at checkout?  I know the cashier has already talked to you about it, and if you're like me, you instantly heard white noise and said, "Not interested, thank you."  But the next time you are at Target, ask them for a pamphlet so you can read all of the fine print at your leisure.  It's a Target Debit Card which connects directly to your existing Debit Card/Bank Account.  It's not like a credit card, there's no APR or annual fee or anything like that.  If you're already using a debit card at Target, for heaven's sake, do yourself a favor already and get the Target Debit Card!  It's free, and you save an instant 5% on every purchase (in store or online AND you get free shipping)!  I absolutely love it!!!

WALMART:  Not as nice or clean as Target, I know, I know.  But they're always busy, aren't they?  Why is that?  They have good prices, sure, but the competition has caught up with them, and there's really not that much of an edge for shopping at Walmart as opposed to, say, Target.  However, I will say this for all you Walmart snobs.  Over Christmas, we were in the market for a TV after Porter took a crayon to our existing one.  Being myself, I shopped around online, in stores, etc, looking for the absolute best TV for the best price.  I found one.  It was a 47" Vizio 3D, SmartTV.  It was a beaut.  It was amazing.  It was incredible.  It was refurbished.  It didn't work when it arrived, regardless of everything we tried.  When we returned it to the store, we found they had one in stock.  The difference between this new one and the refurbished was a mere $100.  We decided that it was worth paying the difference.  But, oh no.  Walmart exchanged the TVs so we paid exactly $0 extra dollars for a brand new TV!!!  That's Customer Service that keeps a business on top.  Furthermore, at another Walmart trip, I purchased an HDMI cable.  It was a Vizio and the tag said $14  (what a steal!)  When I checked out, the final price sounded much too high so after reviewing the receipt, I saw that the cable was $24 as opposed to $14.  Dismayed, I immediately took it to Customer Service and explained that I thought the tag said it was $14 and that $24 for an HDMI cable was just too rich for my blood. The Customer Service rep asked if I'd like to return it, or if I'd just like the difference.  She explained that if Walmart has something marked at a different price from what it rings up as, the Customer gets it for the marked price (in Monterey, they give it to you for the marked price and an additional 3% discount).  That is why I continue to shop at Walmart...

OVERSTOCK:  Overstock simply has amazing prices and what else, is they have flat rate shipping ($3) and free shipping on any purchase over $50.  Like anything, Overstock has better deals in some areas as opposed to others.  I always purchase our memory foam mattress toppers from Overstock because they're priced so well.  In addition, they have great quality dining chairs at a fraction of the cost of what you'd spend at the Exchange or any other store.  If you've not yet visited this site, do so!  You'll never know what you'll find!

KOHL'S:  The reason I love shopping at Kohl's is because they always have sales.  My mom says they artificially raise their prices so that when they tell you, "You saved $250 today!"  It sounds better than it actually is.  But, keep in mind, that Kohl's has a better priced clearance section than even Target.  If you sign up for Kohl's emails, you're almost always guaranteed an additional 15-20% off your entire purchase, and if you get a Kohl's Credit Card, you'll often receive an extra 30% off with an opportunity to earn Kohl's Cash...which is exactly what it sounds like).  I always buy the boys' clothes for the following season from the clearance rack (shorts and pants go for about $2 a pair.  That's about on par with a thrift store, but they've never been worn!)  Lastly, I love Kohl's because each month they get a new stock of children's items called "Kohl's Cares".  Everything in this section is $5 and 100% of the proceeds go to Children's charities.  This month, their special is Dr. Seuss books and stuffed animals.  We bought "Green Eggs and Ham" and two others that have now slipped my mind, all for $5 each (hardback!)  Trust me.  Kohl's is one you want to add to your repertoire!

IKEA: If you've yet to experience the glory that is IKEA, you owe it to yourself to drive to the nearest one and find out what you've been missing.  John and I like to eat before we shop.  They have an amazing cafeteria (try the Swedish Meatballs!).  IKEA is also one of the most family-friendly stores in existence.  They have a nursing room, complimentary diapers (should the need arise) a bottle-warming station, a children's dining area, as well as play stations throughout the entire store.  If your child is potty trained, they can even spend time in Smaland (a supervised play area while you shop).  What can you expect to find at IKEA?  Everything from furniture to toys to home decor and dinnerware.  But best of all?  You can expect INSPIRATION.  Upstairs, IKEA consists of what they call the Showroom.  You walk along a curving path throughout the store seeing entire rooms constructed with IKEA products.  You can physically lie down on a bed or sit on the couch, or work in the Kitchen to see exactly what you like and what you don't.  If you have a hard time figuring out what your style is, IKEA offers a bit more of a hand's on experience than say, HGTV.  Also, what I love about IKEA, is  that you can find inexpensive stuff for your college dorm or your newlywed pad OR spend a little more for your brand new home.  For every level of your life, IKEA will be there.  As one of my all-time favorite stores, I've been known to drive 4 hours just to spend the afternoon indulging in the IKEA experience.  Sounds extreme, right?  Check it out for yourself, then you'll understand!

Post-Apocalyptic Nomadic Warriors: A Duck and Cover Adventure

   I realize it's been a while since I recommended one of my "Good Reads" and for that, I apologize (honest!).  If you're looking for a good book, something that is often overlooked are the Indie Authors that are booming with the increasing popularity of ebooks.  They're a dime a dozen.  It's easy to feel overwhelmed by what you see and it's hard to know what will be a good read, and what won't be worth your time (or your money!)

   Well, look no further than "Post-Apocalyptic Nomadic Warriors: A Duck and Cover Adventure by Benjamin Wallace.

   As if the cover (and title) doesn't make you laugh enough, right?  This book is HILARIOUS!  It made me "lol, out loud" as Adrian Monk says.  It's awesome, OK?  It reads like a movie, won't interfere with your schedule too much, and you're not really in danger of developing any non-fictional feelings about fictional characters.  You'll just have a good time and when you're done, you'll think to yourself: "That was fun!"

   I really enjoyed this read, and I'm sure most of you will too!  If you have a Kindle or any other ereader, click here to read reviews, purchase ($5 or $0 if you're an Amazon Prime member) and enjoy!  If not, there's always the paperback price of $15.50.

Life and Death

   Something that only a Military family can understand, is that a Soldier (I say Soldier, but of course, I mean Marine, Airman, and Seaman too) gives their life for the country.  People mistakenly associate life with death.  When you hear someone say, "He gave his life for this country," you automatically conjure images of a flag draped casket.  You don't think of the day to day, mundane and wonderful aspects of life that a Soldier misses because of what he does.

   

    While your Soldier is off doing this:

   

He misses this:

   In short, he misses life.  He misses out on what makes life sweet for everyone.  Life is the ups and downs of family.  The spills, the poopy diapers, the late nights.  It's the moments you roll around on the floor with your kids, dance with them, kiss away their tears and get to look them in the eye and say, "I love you!"

   

   While dying for your country is the ultimate sacrifice, living for your Country is often overlooked.  Veterans are taken for granted because it's easy to think, "You didn't die, so what did you sacrifice?"  Those in the Military know that the answer is always: 'Everything!'  

   Those men and women in uniform sacrifice everything for their values, for duty, and for love of country.  The above pictures are moments taken in our life as John has been away these last 6 months.  John falls asleep without the precious goodnight kiss of a toddler.  John does combatives at PT and not in the living room on the floor with his boys.  John sat on duty during Thanksgiving, not at a table heavy-laden with food prepared with love surrounded by those he holds most dear.  

   Honor the men and women who have died for their Country; that have died for you.  "Greater love hath no man, than to lay down his life for his friends." (John 15:13)  Pray for their families and seek ways to help lift their burdens.  Thank God that someone cared enough about your freedoms to die for them.

   But, never forget that there are those who continue to sacrifice their time, their families, their very lives.  They freely give you moments they'll never get back, all for your freedoms; for your right to vote.  They do this so that you can enjoy your own family.  So that you can kiss your children.  And read to them. And dance. And sing. And play. And be silly.  They sacrifice their lives so you don't have to sacrifice yours!

   As a military spouse, how can you help your Soldier enjoy as much of life as possible?  I recently began a nightly journal to give John at the end of the year (for Christmas).  Any time he's away from the family for any training or deployment, I'll write a daily account of funny things the boys said and did.  I'm writing about the grievances, the trials, how much I love him, how much his life means to mine.  I'm illustrating the entries with snapshots taken of the boys doing their random things throughout the week.  All of this, so that when next he's in the field, he can feel connected to life at home.  

   I was told several years ago (while my brother-in-law was in Iraq) that he should be ashamed of himself for what he was doing.  That the Military is full of hate-driven, violent-loving, warmongering, red necks who love guns and big booms, is a popular belief held by many who don't fully understand that a Military is not about war, but about peace.  These men and women do what they do, not because they're driven by hate, but by love; not by what lies in front of them, but by what, and who, they're standing in front of.  

   May God bless you Military men and women as well as your families.

Free Giveway on Our Facebook Page!

  We're attempting to advertise our awesomeness via facebook.  But, instead of paying fb for an ad, I figure I'll let you do the work for me and give you the reward!  Be sure to like our facebook page (if you haven't already)

   So, we're giving you the chance to win a free $25 Gift Certificate to the restaurant of your choice!  Who doesn't love date night?!  I enter giveaways all the time and never win, but they're still fun.  Hopefully you'll have better luck than me!  

   Here's what you'll need to do:

1)- Like us on facebook

2)- Like the Contest

3)- Share the Contest

4)- Leave a comment with the restaurant name to which you'd like a gift certificate!

   The winner will be chosen on Thursday morning (via random.org).  Best of luck!

Easy Meatloaf

   If you're looking to improve your current meatloaf recipe, or if you are just in the market for an inexpensive, easy dinner tonight, this is a recipe you'll want to keep handy.

Bbq Meatloaf with Seasoned Rice
Prep Time: 10 Minutes
Bake Time: 60 Minutes
Serves: 6-ish

INGREDIENTS
1lb Ground Hamburger
1 Package of Stuffing
1 egg
1 Cup Water
Barbeque Sauce

DIRECTIONS
Preheat oven to 375.  In a medium bowl, mix together all of the ingredients with 1/2 Cup Bbq sauce.  I use my hands, but you could use a wooden spoon.  If your kids like to help in the kitchen, this is the perfect dish to get their hands dirty!  Dump mixture into a greased baking pan/casserole dish and shape into a loaf.  Top the loaf with 1/2 cup Bbq sauce.  Bake for 50 minutes at 375 degrees.  After 50 minutes, top the loaf with more bbq sauce (about 1/4 Cup) and return to oven for another 10 minutes.

   I like to serve this with a side of rice and vegetables.  When the meatloaf has about 30 minutes left, bust out your rice cooker.  I like to add an extra 1/3 Cup water and include 1/4 bag of frozen veggies into the uncooked rice.  This is an easy alternative to preparing a 2nd side dish.  The other great thing about rice, is that you can make it as fancy as you'd like.  Our family likes seasoned rice.  Here's how I make it:

1 C Rice
2  and 1/3 Cup of Water
1/4 Bag of mixed frozen veggies
2tsp granulated chicken bullion
Melt 1T of butter over medium heat in a small skillet.  Take a handful of uncooked angel hair pasta and break it up into bits (about 1/2" long) and toast in melted butter until browned.  Dump entire contents of skillet into the rice cooker and cook.

   If you time it correctly, the rice and meatloaf will finish simultaneously and you can enjoy a hot dinner; perfect for these cold winter evenings!  My kids love this dish and it makes great leftovers.  John likes to crumble his meatloaf and eat it over his rice (like a rice bowl) and the consistency of the cooked loaf is perfect for toddlers to feed themselves.

   Let me know if it's a hit in your house too!  

Motherhood

    I was going to write about the stores from which we can't afford to not be shopping.  But, given recent events, I feel I should instead write about the responsibilities of motherhood.  I'm not talking about the changing of diapers, or the cooking, or the cleaning.  Those, while important, are acts that anyone is capable of performing for any child.  I'm talking about motherhood.

  Last night, after my boys were down, I crept downstairs to the kitchen.  I had a sweet tooth, and I wanted to settle into bed with Downton Abbey and relax.  As I retrieved some Mint Chocolate Chip from the freezer, raised voices from the other side of the wall made me freeze.  My neighbor could be heard, clear as day, yelling at her child.  Every other word was the F word, and the Lord's name in vain.  She was screaming at him; calling him lazy and stupid.  Apparently, he's having a hard time reading and so his teachers have sent him home with additional reading homework.  The mother was irate.  She was livid.  I heard dishes being banged about, I heard the child crying (not loudly, mind.  I never heard the child contradict or talk back to her).  Before retreating from the domestic horrors, I heard the mother say, "Now, your'e going to sit here" (scuffle) "and you're going to effing read this @#$# book to me!"

   In a better world, I would have had the courage to knock on the door and demand justice for the poor child.  But, I'm a coward.  I cried, put the ice cream back in the freezer and stewed about it in my room.  I debated as to whether or not I should call the cops.  I asked my sister what I should do.  We discussed calling the elementary school or CPS.  At the end of the day, I am who I am, and to my shame, I did nothing.  But, the incident has not left me.

   When first I moved in, this boy and his siblings were extremely disrespectful to not only me, but to others in the neighborhood.  I witnessed this boy trying to stone a kitten in my yard (which I stopped).  I've seen this boy fighting with others and getting his siblings into trouble.  I've also seen this boy around his mother.  I've seen how he grovels and hovers.  He acts as though he's stepping on egg shells, eager to please and always falling short.  Obscenities fly from his mouth because he hears them first from his mother.  He picks on those around him because he's known nothing else.  He's old enough now that his life will be forever tainted by the impact of his home life.  How tragic is that?  How common is that in today's world?

   I know it's old fashioned and considered politically incorrect to promote families and motherhood instead of woman's independence and career, but I think it's more important now than ever.  How different would this child's life be if his mother spoke with him in love and concern?  If she taught by example?  How different would this child interact with those around him, especially around those weaker than himself?  Some day, this child will grow up and be a man.  He may have children of his own.  He will most certainly have relationships of his own.  How will he treat those with whom he interacts?

   If you're a mother, you are doing the most important work in the world.  If you're a stay-at-home-mom, I wonder if you realize the rarity of your situation.  And, even if you are a stay-at-home mom, how much time is actively spent in rearing your children?  There are, of course, household duties which are included in your "job description" so to speak (i.e., cleaning, cooking, laundry, errands, etc.).  But, how is your time managed?  How many minutes a day do we spend reading to our children?  Playing with them?  Laughing, hugging and kissing them?  How many times a day do they hear the words, "I love you" being uttered sincerely from your lips?  Do they know why you love them?  Do they know how much they're worth, how much they add to your family, how grateful you are God has placed them in your home?

   I read a blog post from a mother in Utah this past summer.  She took her children to the community pool.  It was a busy morning.  Several mothers and children were there, and she let her 3 year old swim.  She became busy in taking pictures of her baby and was putting them on facebook when she looked up and saw her son flailing in the water.  He was drowning.  She had done what we are all guilty of doing at one time or another.  Not being present.  It's easy to say, "Yeah, I'm a great mom.  I was with my kids all day!"  But, what did you do with your kids?  How many minutes did you spent reading, or on your cell phone, or on your tablet/computer in their presence?  How many times a day do we lash out at them when they do something they shouldn't, but we were too busy socializing with our electronics to intervene?

   I am guilty of this, repeatedly.  After I read the post this summer, I vowed to only be on facebook/writing during the children's nap times.  Most days (like today) I'm very responsible and do very well at separating "Jane time" from "mom time".  Other days, I need a break and see my phone/kindle, etc. as a means to escape mentally while I'm still physically there for my children.  It's even harder when your husband is away on either deployment or training, and all responsibilities come down to you; when breaks are limited and everyone is vying for your attention.  Nevertheless, ask yourself at the end of every day, as you put your kids to bed, what kind of mother was I today?  What kind of mother do my children deserve?  How can I improve upon tomorrow from who I was today?

   Children inherently love their parents.  They can learn to not love, but it is unnatural.  I think a parent has to really work at ruining their relationship with their children.  Kids want to love their parents, they want to be friends, they want to be loved and respected.  Children forgive so readily and so easily.  Don't be hard on yourself if today you fell short of your expectations.  Tomorrow is a new day, and while your children are young, they will always embrace you with open arms.  It's vital to be who your kids need today, so they want to keep you in their lives when they're teens.

New Year, Old Practices

   Happy New Year (albeit a tad belated).  For or better or worse, I haven't actually made a New Year's resolution yet.  They never really pan out.  However, I think it's safe to say that there is one that everyone seems to embrace in those first few weeks of January: Be Healthier.  This generally consists of an extreme diet scheme and workouts which may or may not be effective.  Unless you're one of the rare, committed individuals, the new lifestyle fizzles by the end of February at the latest.  But it still doesn't change the fact that you want to be healthier, does it?
   I've recently discovered (by way of a childhood friend and my mother) two amazing beauty regimens that are unique, highly effective and cheap!

Beauty Regimen #1: Oil Pulling.  Sounds bizarre, right?  Well, it's incredible.  For detailed information regarding the technique and the science behind how it works and why it's effective, this is a great website to peruse.  In a nutshell, it improves gum and mouth health while whitening teeth, boosting energy and amping up the immune system.  Essentially, all you do is take 1 Tablespoon of oil (any cold pressed oil should do.  Personally, I use Safflower oil, although other recommended oils are Sunflower, Sesame and/or Coconut) and you swish it in your mouth for 20 minutes a day (take care to not spit the oil into the sink).

Don't put the oil away too fast!

Beauty Regimen #2: The Oil Cleansing Method.  Take 1 Tablespoon of Oil (I use Safflower, but they recommend Castor Oil/Olive oil) and after warming it in your hands, massage it into your entire face (yes, your face!) for 10 minutes.  Then take a hot, wet, washcloth and leave it on your face until it cools (repeat this 2nd step 3 times).  Then massage more oil into your face for another 10 minutes, then shower (if you shower in the evening.  If not, that's fine).  I know that it sounds counter intuitive to put oil onto your face, but it works wonders.  The first time I tried this, I was skeptical.  I had enormous zits along my hairline from talking on my cell phone.  Within the first 10 minutes, I felt the zits being cleaned out beneath my fingertips.  It was unreal!  Now, only a week later, my skin tone looks amazing and bright and flawless.  Best part?  A bottle of safflower oil can be purchased from any Grocery Store for cheap (mine was $4).

   I've tried both of these methods and have had nothing but positive results.  Morning breath?  Gone.  My gums look better, my mouth feels better.  My face looks spectacular, and I have every intention of making both a lifelong habit!  The best news?  You'll see results in just a few days!  Try it!  You won't be sorry!

Daddy Dolls

 
As many of you know, we had a Brother-In-Law just return from a deployment to Afghanistan (Oorah).  When he left, the Red Cross donated "Daddy Dolls" (though Operation Hug a Hero) to all of the children who had a parent going down range.  If you don't know what a Daddy Doll is, they're absolutely adorable!  They take a full length picture of your Solider and attach it to a pillow (essentially).  Her children looked so cute, walking around the house and falling asleep, all while clutching their daddy dolls.  At the time, we knew John would be leaving in a matter of weeks and so I decided to visit the website to order daddy dolls for Porter and Wyatt.   

The dolls, while absolutely adorable, are a bit pricey if you're like the average Military family and have more than one child.  a 12" daddy doll runs just under $24 while a 17" runs just under $30.  If you want a voice recorder sewn into the doll, that adds another $9.  Multiply that by 2+ kids and you're suddenly looking at a very expensive, albeit wonderful, coping mechanism.

As usual, I wanted the dolls, but I didn't want to spend $80 to supply my boys with a piece of their dad while he was away.  I got creative and decided to try making my own, and succeeded (for the most part).  You actually can benefit from my mistakes, so if you are interested in making your children their own daddy doll (or grandma/grandpa, auntie, etc. doll) then here's how I chose to do mine:

Materials Needed to Make 1 Daddy Doll:
* One, full-length photograph of your Soldier (in uniform, if desired) transferred to either a shirt, or some other material.
* One Voice Recorder (optional)
* Cotton stuffing or batting
* Needle and Thread
* Cammo Material (I wish I had thought to use an old uniform of John's before I did ours!)
* Iron-on Paper (also known as Transfer Paper - also optional)

Directions:
1)- Take a good picture.  All you have to do is visit the website to see examples of how they look.  In general, it's a good idea to have your Soldier stand with their hands loosely to the side, but really, I say do what comes naturally and what your kids will like :)  Take a picture with a white background if you don't want to cut around your Soldier's body.  John left before I could take a really good picture, so we used an old one.  It doesn't have to be perfect, your kids just need to recognize that it's daddy.

2)- Get a voice recorder device.  We had an old, nasty teddy bear which someone had just given us that we were going to throw away.  It had a recorder in the paw, so I dug it out and recycled it.  The other recorder, I obtained from Amazon.  (I prefer Amazon, but really, any online market place will give you a competitive price).  I ordered one for $6 (with shipping) and it arrived the week before John left, so I was cutting it a bit too close.  Still, I'm so glad we got a recorder for both boys!

3)- Upload your picture to Walmart.com > Photo Center > Clothing & Jewelry.  I chose to have the photograph put on an Adult T Shirt, just because I wanted a bigger doll... but it's only $11 and if you want to have it sent to your local Walmart store, you'll even save on shipping.  It takes a few weeks to have the shirt completed and shipped.

4)- Once you've got all needed materials assembled together, you'll want to do one of 2 things.  You can either cut the image from the background OR you can leave the image alone and simply cut the shape of the doll out of the T Shirt.
   I chose to cut out the background from John's photo, and then I used the rest of the T Shirt (obtained from Walmart.com photo center) to make the white part of the daddy doll, or the front of the doll.  I used the Iron-on (transfer) paper to make the picture stick to the T Shirt, then I simply cut out the shape of a doll and sewed it together.  If you want to skip the iron-on process, you don't need to cut out the background.  I chose to do this because the picture itself can be a bit scratchy.  Granted, I didn't try washing it first, either.  So, do whatever feels best and is easiest in your situation.  When I make these again, I'm going to skip the Iron-On Transfer because Porter loves his a little too much, too often, and the transfer paper has broken down, which means John is barely hanging onto Porter's doll.  So, again, do what you think is best for your kids.  Wyatt's is still as pristine as the day I finished it.

5)-  Cut the Cammo Material to match the shape of the doll.

6)- Pin the front of the doll to the back of the doll.  If you're unfamiliar with sewing pillows, you want the whole project to be inside-out.  This is will keep a nice, smooth edge on your finished product.  Sew the entire doll, except leave a hole that's big enough for the stuffing and the recorder.

7)-  Stuff the doll with the stuffing/batting all the way up until you reach Daddy's shoulders.  Then, insert the voice recorder (complete with personalized message from Daddy!!).  Finish stuffing.

8)- Sew stuffing hole closed.

9)- Present the doll to your beaming child, and share the pictures of your handiwork on our facebook page!

10)- Remind yourself that you're an awesome mother and a wonderful wife for keeping your children so connected with their daddy.

At the end of the day, my dolls aren't as pretty as the ones you can buy from the official Daddy Doll website.  The edges are a bit wobbly, the stuffing looks more like the cellulite in my legs, and we didn't get the best picture in the world.  BUT, my boys don't love their dolls any less because of that.  They sleep with them, they kiss them, they talk to them, and they carry them around all over, everywhere.  That's the whole point of the dolls anyway, right?  Don't stress about making them perfect.  All your kids will feel when they hold them, is that their mommy and daddy love them very much...

These are also a great gift idea (if you're needing an idea for a family member who is far away).  Really, these dolls are just great coping mechanisms for any loved one that is away from your child!!!

One Doing The Work of Two

I recently asked our fb readers if there was any particular topic they'd like explored or discussed on the blog.  I received a cute reply:

 "Single" parenting while they are gone...what do you do when all your kids can't seem to keep their hands off their siblings??? lol, this has been a week to remember!" 

In a phone conversation I had with John recently, I was expressing a similar frustration, and he said it so succinctly.  "You're one person doing a two person job."

Some days I can't get enough of my kids.  I just want to spend the whole day cuddling, kissing and playing.  Other days, I find myself watching the clock like a crazy person and fighting the urge to have a meltdown and throw a temper tantrum of my own.  On normal days, your Soldier can provide regular relief.  Even if that relief comes in the form of a 5 minute bereave in which you sit in your bedroom in peace.  Some nights, John didn't get home in time to see the kids before bedtime, but even then, he provided me with relief.  Adult conversation is vital to a mother's sanity; especially if that mother is a stay-at-home mom.  It's not just the conversation (although that's wonderful) it's the interaction, the intimacy, the entire experience of enjoying one another's company.  It's hard being away from your best friend for extended amounts of time, frequently.  

Everyone has emotional needs which need to be met.  Parents have to worry about the needs of their spouse, the needs of their children, and of course, their own.  When your husband is home, you can share the responsibility of your child's emotional needs.  Between the two of you, you can make sure everyone's emotional needs are being met in a proper and timely manner.  But when he's away for either training or deployment, the buck stops with mom.  The day in, day out, never ceasing, crushing, sometimes overwhelming, responsibilities of parenthood rest squarely on mom's shoulders.  Is it any wonder that some days, you feel like you're drowning in motherhood?

Firstly, if you're excessively worrying about the emotional needs of your solider, stop immediately!  There's really only so much you can do for him, after all.  Let's be clear.  I'm not suggesting you abandon him.  By all means, send him packages, talk to him as often as possible, confide and trust one another with your problems, talk about your days, etc.  But, your husband has an entire network of fellow Soldiers, a band of brothers, to share burdens, laughs, trials and life with while he's absent.  There needs to be a healthy balance, and your Solider shouldn't, in turn, abandon you emotionally, but that is for another day.

Secondly, revert back to advice you were given when your little ones were newborns.  Didn't everyone tell you that you couldn't take care of anything if you weren't first taking care of you?  This doesn't just apply to new moms, you know.  This applies to everyone.  We all know it.  That's why the Self Help section at Barnes & Noble is so large.  Diversity is a beautiful thing.  We all unwind differently.  What helps you to find your inner peace when the house and the kids are falling apart around you?  As for me, I have found the crib to be a mother's best friend.  If your kids are still young enough for a crib, don't feel guilty if you need to give yourself a timeout.  The crib is a great option because they can't get hurt, and your house won't get hurt either as you retreat to the tub or bedroom for a few minutes of stolen serenity.  If your kids are too old for a crib, try putting a movie on, or sending them outside to play while you watch them from the peace of your empty house, sipping on a hot chocolate or lemonade.  If none of these are viable options, or they're not working, then use my all-time favorite.  Early bed time.  I've found my kids are the most cranky when they're overtired.  How do I resolve this?  Early bed time.  Contrary to belief, sending them to bed early will not necessarily mean they wake up early the next day.  They're overtired for a reason.  They need to recover sleep, and I've never had this plan backfire on me yet.

Thirdly (and lastly) take care of your children's needs to the best of your ability.  Newsflash, some days your abilities are better than others.  Don't compare yourself to other moms, just concentrate on being the best you.  Porter acts out when he's overtired, yes, but also when he hasn't had enough attention.  Granted, he's 2, so his idea of attention and mine don't always coincide, but you can generally gauge how much is too much and what's not enough.  Even if you're cleaning your house on a daily basis (See To DITY or Not to DITY) there will be plenty of days where dishes cover the countertops, none of the beds are made, and toys litter the floor.  As tempting as it can be to leave the kids to their own devices so you can catch up on household duties, ignore the urge every now and again.  All of the chores will still be there (unfortunately) but your kids will only be little for so long.  Before too long, they'll be asking you for advice on how to deal with kids of their own.  Take the time to read to them, to dance and to go on walks.  It'll help with their cabin fever.  Finally, Talk about Daddy a lot.  Sometimes, I'll just google images of Soldiers and look at them with Porter.  It doesn't matter that he thinks everyone is Daddy. It's simply a daily reminder that he has a dad and that he loves him.

So that brings us to the final question.  What do you do when your kids won't get along?  I know how it feels to be the sole disciplinarian.  In a word?  It sucks.  By the end of the day, I'm so tired of hearing myself say "no" repeatedly.  I'm sick of chastising, correcting and playing judge.  I read in a parenting book, that you should actually stay out of your children's fights as much as possible.  You should teach them correct behaviors, but let them put them in practice.  Newsflash, they're not going to get it right 9 times out of 10, but you should still let them swim on their own.  Let them resolve situations alone.  Let them deal with the consequences of their resolutions.  Obviously, intervention is necessary eventually, but don't rush to resolve every fight every time.

So, the kids have been at it for a while, and there's now an escalation of violence.  What do you do?  This is my most favorite option. They call it "The Get Along Shirt"

(as a side note, I love how the boy is thrilled to be wearing it...)

The idea of the shirt is what makes it so genius.  In life, we're forced to make nice and get along.  This is about teaching them to suck it up, and be nice, even when it's not what they feel.  It's a tangible consequence you can enact when fighting erupts.  Growing up, my mom used to make us sing "Love At Home" from the LDS Hymnbook.  You can also take away privileges.  Be clear as to what is acceptable behavior and what is not.  You could even let the kids take part in choosing the consequences for misbehavior.  They have a tendency to choose harsher punishments than parents do, and when the time comes for them to be punished, they can't complain because they chose their own form of justice!

And then, of course, there's Time Out. This method has been used in practice for several hundred years.  In Medieval times, Society even instituted the Time Out as a reliable method of resolution.  

What I want do when my kids are acting out....

What I do until John builds me some Stocks....

Remember, if everything fails, early bed time it is!

Project Rudolph

   As we begin this Holiday Season, we should never forget that there are those who cannot come home to be with their loved ones.  It doesn't require much effort to get involved and send some Holiday Cheer to those we love on the front lines.  Even if you don't know anyone personally, they fight for you nonetheless.
   My cousin's wife and her students, do great work with Project Rudolph.  It's a wonderful program designed to show love and support for our Troops throughout the Holidays by providing deployed units with Holiday gift bags, in an attempt to provide them with some cheer, comfort, joy and love to sustain them as they leave their families and loved ones behind.
   Project Rudolph needs help not only in support and letter writing, but also in knowing who needs some holiday cheer.  I know the Holidays are a busy time for everyone, but please take a few minutes out of your day to look at this website explaining all about Project Rudolph and Operation Angel.  So many people say they support the Troops.  Now's your chance to actually do something about it this Holiday Season!

Life of Pi

   John says I have a nose for picking out books which are eventually made into movies.  And it's absolutely true.  Don't ask me how...because I honestly couldn't tell you.
  My apologies on this long overdue post.  Porter effectively broke my laptop and life has been busy as we prepare for the Holidays.  If you find you have a few minutes to spare, or perhaps to unwind at the end of the night, I would recommend: "Life of Pi" by Yann Martel.  This is a fantasy adventure novel, published in 2001.  It's not your typical fantasy however (there are no witches or magic).  I actually thought it was based upon real events when I first read it in 2008.
  This is a story of 16 year old Piscine Patil in which he's shipwrecked and stranded on a lifeboat with a bengal tiger for 227 days.  You may wonder how on earth an author could find enough material to write 400 pages worth of brilliant story line, but he does it and does it amazingly well.
  The book was recently made into a movie, and was released today, November 21, 2012.  I have yet to see the movie, but by all accounts, it looks like a fair presentation of what I fell in love with 4 years ago.  As always, this is a book about the human condition, and it is told beautifully and powerfully.  It resonates with the reader by invoking timeless questions and life lessons.  There's a truth to be found in its pages, and it is one which the reader won't help but admire.
  Do yourself a favor and read "Life of Pi".  It is one of my favorites!

To DITY Or Not to DITY. That is the real question

We are all quite familiar with the phrase: "There are only two certainties in life.  Death and Taxes." If you're a Military family, you  can quite safely add "moving" to the list.  It's inevitable.  Do you cringe when your PCS orders arrive?  Do you dread the thought of packing and moving again?  Do you look around your home and feel helpless?  All of these feelings are absolutely normal and reasonable.  Especially since there's a good chance you'll be doing the work without the help of your man.  There's also the time old question: "To DITY or not to DITY?"  There are certainly advantages to both.  On the one hand, who doesn't like saving money? On the other, it's so wonderful to see someone else pack, ship and load/unload your belongings.  So what do you choose?!  Trust me, there is no wrong answer!  If you choose to have the Military move you, you have little work to do, outside cleaning your home.  My personal favorite option is a partial-DITY move.  I like to pack up and clean but let someone else do the heavy lifting and driving.  I like it because you still get paid for the work you saved the moving company (here is a great website to aid you in making the decision that is best for your family).

This post was inevitable, but I'm writing it now at the request of someone who likes our facebook page.  She asked: "Dear Jane.  I would love to see some information about moving...especially things we can do in between moves to make the next one easier."

What a fantastic question, Jennifer!  And I have some solid ideas and suggestions for you :)

Above all else, first and foremost, you should take the time to think about the specific problems you encountered from your last move.  Why were they problematic?  What could have been done differently and what was out of your control (i.e., gas prices, timeline, etc.)?  Then, go about fixing them!

John and I have been married for 5 years this December.  In that time, we've moved a grand total of 7 times (and only one of those moves was across town...).   My advice is based upon the last 5 years of moving experience:

START AS SOON AS YOU CAN
If you plan to do a DITY move, or a partial DITY, begin as soon as you can (like 2-3 months prior to the big day).  Slowly buy boxes.  There are a few ways to do this:
       * I recommend buying from Home Depot or Lowes because you can use your 10% Military Discount).    
       * You can also store the boxes used from a previous move (we've done this a couple of times, and it
          has been very successful).
      * Ask for boxes from your local businesses or search Craigslist for people who need to get rid of theirs.
         If you're on/near a Military base, there's always someone moving in that is anxious to part with their
         boxes.  Personally, I would rather just buy and keep my own boxes, because there are a lot of gross
         people out there with gross possessions and cockroaches and other pests... but if you want to (or need
         to) save money, then this is certainly the most economically sound option.
Once you begin to stockpile boxes, use them!  There are so many non-essential items that we have in our homes.  Simply go through a little each day or a few weeks at a time, and begin to box up those items you don't foresee needing in the next few months (i.e. books, pictures, decorations, camping/yard gear, etc.).  You'd be amazed at how much work this saves down the road.  It also helps to not get burnt out on packing in those last few weeks and days.  If space is an issue, have the boxes hug the walls in your home, or store them in your garage or basement.

CONSIDER SELLING POSSESSIONS
Again, just as you're moving off base, someone else is moving in.  Each house is different, so sometimes your furniture or decorations don't quite fit in the new place.  Consider selling them on Craigslist and local Facebook yard sale pages.  There are so many advantages to selling as much as you can before a move!
      * You'll have extra, unexpected cash in hand for your big day.  Moves have a lot of expensive surprises.
         It's nice and comforting to have a little padding in the account before, during and after a move.
      * Every little thing that someone carries out the front door, is one less thing you have to put on a moving
         truck.  This saves both time and money.
      * My favorite reason of all, you get to go shopping to decorate and furnish your new house!  Look on
         the positive side of moving every 2 to 5 years.  You can completely change your style every time you
         move!  You could even take the money made from your previous items and put them in a fund to
         replace them.
There's an art to selling your items on Craigslist.  I will be writing another post in the near-future about how to do this successfully and how to get top dollar for your things!

BUY AND STORE CONSCIENTIOUSLY: TUBS, TUBS, TUBS!
There will always be those sentimental items that people will ask "Why do you keep moving this?"  As a girl, we discovered trunks full of photographs, letters, clothes and uniforms, war medals, etc. from my Grandparents' youth.  It was thrilling to see yearbooks from their junior high days and see clothes my grandma wore when she was my age.  I vowed then that I would work to keep my very own "generation trunk" and I have.  It is full of letters, photographs, memories, report cards, essays, mementos, etc.  These are those priceless items that I insist on moving every time.  It's OK to have "useless" items with which you don't want to part.  However, storing them smartly is vital to a stress-free move!  I prefer to keep my memories in chests and trunks.  They're pretty and can hold a LOT of memories.  They can also serve double duty.  These can be at the foot of your beds, nestled under windows, or at the top of your stairs landing, used as a coffee or side table, this list goes on. Be creative!  Ask yourself what you don't want to part with, and then ask how you can use the storing of those items to your advantage.
  In the same vein: Holiday Decorations.  Who doesn't love them?!  Those are not generally the things we care to part with.  I recommend storing them in color coordinated tubs with pictures and labels on all 4 sides so they're easily spotted in a pile of storage and gear.  Invest in good, solid totes/tubs and take care to buy straight-edged ones, as they are stackable and moving friendly.
  Color coded and labeled tubs are not only useful for storing decorations, but also gear, workshop tools, Military essentials, camping supplies, etc.  They move well, won't break down over time like cardboard boxes, and the color coding is so incredibly helpful when you're moving and storing.  For example, John puts all of his Army things in Gray tubs.  Christmas Decorations are in bright red and dark green tubs, Halloween/Fall decorations in Orange tubs, Spring in a light green, Workshop in dark blue, etc.  It's all about saving time when you're looking for items and also when you're deciding what goes where when you're unloading a truck.
  Also, even if your tubs are stacked inside one another and stored until the next move, it's so wonderful to have designated tubs for your items so that you easily know where to find things and how/where to pack them when it comes time to move again.  When you purchase furniture for your home, ensure what you're bringing into the home is functional.  Our sofa table doubles as as a storage center for the toys (purchased fro Costco for only $129).  At our last move, the movers simply shrink wrapped the entire piece of furniture, so we didn't even have to pack or unload the toys!  Our nightstands are small dressers which hide clutter and can hold possessions as we move.  Always seek furniture which can serve you in both your home and your move.

CLEAN DAILY
I get it.  Cleaning is not exactly the most glamorous or enjoyable part of maintaining a nurturing and loving environment.  I'm sure you've all seen this:
Does this sound familiar?  You can get a lot of cleaning done in those 10 minutes, can't you?  It actually doesn't require much effort or time to keep your house looking clean and great all the time!  My secret, is a daily work chart.  I have a piece of paper on the fridge which correlates certain chores with the day of the week.  The whole purpose of this daily cleaning, is so that when the time comes to leave a home, we're not spending an exorbitant amount of time cleaning before we leave.
   Now, I don't work outside the home, so my list of chores may allow for more than others.  That's not the point.  The point is to do what you can!  Below is an example of what my week looks like:
MONDAY: Laundry (whites) Vacuum whole house, clean windows.  I also try to squeeze in a Legs workout and go swimming.
TUESDAY: Laundry (darks) Sweep/Mop whole house, yard work. Exercise: Arms & Spinning Class
WEDNESDAY: Laundry (colors) Bathrooms, Dusting. Exercise: Butt & Running
THURSDAY: Laundry (whites) Bedrooms, vacuum whole house. Exercise: Abs & Spinning Class
FRIDAY:  Laundry (darks) Kitchen, sweep/mop whole house. Exercise: Legs and Swimming
SATURDAY: Laundry (colors) wipe down walls, wipe baseboards and clean lights, odds and ends.  Exercise: Yoga and a family run or walk

By doing laundry, sorting mail and washing dishes on a daily basis, it doesn't get piled up.  A day-long chore becomes a 10 minute one done every day.  If you have children that are old enough to help with the chores, use them!  My oldest is 2, and he "helps" me with wiping walls, dusting, cleaning windows, and he helps me to unload the dish washer as well as setting the table at mealtimes.  I believe it's important that your kids know that taking care of a home requires their efforts too.  It will also help them to feel included in the family, as an important and vital piece of the family unit.  It will also cut down on your cleaning to-do checklist as you prepare to move, because you've been cleaning the house really well all along!

FAMILIARIZE YOURSELF WITH THE REQUIREMENTS YOUR LANDLORD HAS PRIOR TO THE LEASE TERMINATION
There's nothing worse than being hit with unexpected surprises from your landlord as you prepare to leave. Be sure you understand your lease, and that they understand you're in the Military.  Generally, even in Military housing, it's required to provide a written 30 day notice prior to the move-out date.  However, orders are orders.  If push comes to shove, throw down the Servicemembers Civil Relief Act.  Ultimately, it says that no one can deny you services or discriminate against you due to your Military service.  I had to use this at my last place of residence as well as my current one.  It's a handy piece of information to know really well.  Don't be afraid to use it!

SET MONEY ASIDE
There will always be unexpected things that happen during a move which can be quite costly.  Perhaps your car breaks down as you're traveling to your new duty station.  Perhaps you have to pay for a hotel along the way.  Restocking a fridge and pantry is a costly business too, as well as inevitable.  There are an infinite amount of variables which can devastate the pocket book.  Set money aside long before your move so you're not stuck with a financial situation that will ruin you.

KNOW WHAT YOU'LL NEED UPON ARRIVAL, THEN KEEP IT WITH YOU!
John and I have a little portable file cabinet with all of our necessary and vital documents.  This also includes our dog's health certificate and paperwork.  This is one of the very last things loaded into the car, and it is with us at all times.  We also keep (or have money set aside to buy) with us some cleaning supplies, toilet paper,  paper towels/Clorox wipes, soap, disposable plates/bowls and silverware, towels, and basic toiletries.  If your items are on a truck, and you move in before they arrive, you want to be able to prepare for the arrival, and function at a basic level until you're settled.

TRAVEL SMART
Don't be a hero!  Take your time and stick to the Military's allotted 8 hour/day rule.  Especially if you have children!  I would recommend tentatively planning at which hotels to stay along the route.  I would recommend purchasing an RCA, Double screen DVD player for your car.  You can purchase them for under $100 and they can be a life saver with young kids when you're all stuck in a car for several hours over several days.  Also, consider purchasing a GPS (we bought a basic Tomtom for under $100).  Not only will this help you to not get lost, but will be vital to learning where things are when you arrive in a new town and on a new base.